Wanting Change vs. Committing to It: Why Most People Get Stuck

Change is something most people desire at various points in life—whether it’s breaking a habit, improving relationships, or pursuing new goals. However, there is a crucial difference between wanting change and being truly committed to change, and recognizing this distinction can make all the difference in achieving real transformation.

Wanting Change: The Starting Point

Wanting change begins with the recognition that life could be better, healthier, or more fulfilling. It often arises from:

• Dissatisfaction with the current situation

• Inspiration from others’ successes

• Internal / external pressures or expectations

However, wanting is usually passive. It may involve daydreaming about a different future or expressing frustration with the present, but rarely leads to consistent action. Many people live their entire lives thinking “I wish I had a healthier lifestyle” or “I want to be less anxious”, but without further steps, these remain mere wishes.

Commitment to Change: Taking Action

Commitment goes beyond intangible desire and enters the realm of concrete action. It means:

• Setting specific, achievable goals

• Making a plan and anticipating obstacles

• Taking consistent, often uncomfortable, steps forward

• Accepting responsibility for setbacks and learning from them

While wanting change is about hope, commitment is about investment. It often requires sacrifice, persistence, and a willingness to tolerate discomfort in the short-term for the sake of long-term growth, satisfaction, and wellbeing.

Why the Difference Matters

The gap between wanting and committing is often where people get stuck. Here’s a comparison:

Wanting Change	Committing to Change
Passive desire	Active engagement
Unconscious daydreaming	Deliberate visualisation of both goals and obstacles
Focuses on ultimate outcome	Focuses on process
Easily derailed by setbacks	Views setbacks as learning opportunities
Motivated by external factors	Driven by internal values and goals

Insights on Change

Research shows that commitment predicts success far more reliably than desire alone, as it activates deeper cognitive and emotional resources, leading to greater resilience and adaptability – necessary preconditions for meaningful change.

Techniques such as implementation intentions (“If X happens, I will do Y”) and self-monitoring can help bridge the gap between wanting and doing. Clarifying values, setting realistic goals, and developing accountability structures are all proven strategies for supporting true commitment.

Moving From Wanting to Committing

If you find yourself stuck in the “wanting” phase, try these steps:

1. Clarify your motivation: Why is this change important to you?

2. Check your goals against your values: Will achieving change make you sacrifice something that you truly value?  

3. Set concrete goals: What, specifically, will you do differently?

4. Anticipate obstacles: What might get in your way, and how will you respond?

5. Seek support: Accountability from friends, family, or a coach can help.

6. Track your progress: Celebrate small wins and learn from setbacks.

   
   

Change is possible for anyone, but it requires more than wishful thinking. The journey from wanting to committing is where transformation truly begins.